The life long journey

It's coming to me slowly now exactly what's going on.

In order to gain an extra 100, 200, or however may pounds represents "seriously" overweight a lot of things have to happen. In order to loose all of that excess weight a lot of things have to happen as well and no matter how well prepared I think I am for the next stage(s)of this journey I keep finding out that I'm not ready to simply step up to the next challenge, kick it's ass, and move on to the next thing, simple as that.

It's effing hard! There have been some tough lessons to learn and all I can say right now is that I'm learning them in "real time" and I find that the one thing becoming more clear with everything I'm learning is that this is a life long process. It's going to be a life long process. It's long.....it's going to take a long time as in a really really long time that will encompass the rest of your life....like forever and ever amen type of long.

You can loose 100 pounds in 1-2 years and it counts for shit the next day if you go back to your old habits.

I've made permanent changes in my eating habits to the degree that I do not think it will be possible for me to gain back all the weight I have lost so far but even with that it all depends on me maintaining those changes....those things have to be permanent life long changes or else my old habits will return and in 1-2 years I'll be another 100#'s overweight again like none of this ever happened.

With that being said I'm feeling very aggravated with myself right now that I've allowed a general blase attitude to creep over me the last few months and the result has been a lack of progress towards my total goal of 185#'s. I have not forgotten my goal, I have not gone back to Burger King lunches and Ben &" Jerry's late night snacks but I have not been "ON IT" either. Result ---- Nothing much to be happy about right now other than I can report lifestyle changes are the saving grace of long term weight loss. I can't stress this enough that if I had fallen back to old eating habits over the last few months I would probably be crying right now and in really bad shape instead of just aggravated. In fact I'm super motivated right now just thinking about how unmotivated I've allowed myself to get. If I had fallen back to eating the way I did 2 years ago I'd have been able to pack on an astonishing amount of weight I'm sure and that would have had a MUCH worse mental affect that might have even derailed me altogether.

I'll say it again lifestyle changes are the saving grace of long term weight loss.

This is going to take the rest of your life.

Loosing 2 months to lazy stupidity is disappointing and humiliating but it isn't life threatening. Loosing your resolve because you were surviving on willpower and resorting back to destructive patterns (because you have not eliminated then from your life and replaced them with other options)IS life threatening.

Today I'm simply going to shake myself, make sure I'm awake, refocus on the task at hand, be VERY thankful I started this journey with a solid foundation of permanent changes and not a temporary "diet", and set in intermediary goal of making 205 by 4th of July and making my end goal weight of 185 by Dec 31st of this year.

It will mean that from start to finish it will take me just under 2 years to make my goal.

I'm blowing out any/every other goal on my list and re-focusing completely on the next phase.

205# by 7/4/09
185# by 12/31/09 Final goal weight reached.

Weigh ins will be starting back up soon once I get organized and more updates now that I will have lots of info to update.....


Now I'm off to start figuring out the most bad ass drink I can toast with on New Years when I'm weighing in at 185<. :)

FAST!

13 min. is pretty fast for this race.

I don't like how they start this race at all with the cattle rush but obviously I'm leaving here and going directly to Google search stair races in the US. :)