Hitting Alice Cooper in the nuts.

A total ramble fest.

Two things have been on my mind lately.

Hitting Alice Cooper in the nuts and randomly looking at gold medal winner Tera Lipinski's panties in a Target paring lot.

In other words strange things I have done....

The fact that I have done these things (or the doing of them) isn't what's on my mind...what is on my mind is that some stories can never properly be told. First off the more interesting a story is the more unusual it is and the less likely people are to believe it. It's the plague of not being a bullshiter in a world that loves to bullshit. When I tell you I hit Alice Cooper in the nuts it's very literally because I was the cause of him doing that specific flinch that only happens when someone is hit in the package. And by the same line...when I say literally it's because I know the definition of the word and use it the way it was intended....because I am straightforward like that. ;)

Anyhow, I would have figured my eyes were playing tricks on me when we rounded the corner and I saw Tera Lipinski bending over and her skirt hiking ALL the way up AND over her hips to have her pretty much moon the paring lot her full back panties. I could easily have figured it was just somebody that looked like her but not actually her if she had not been standing next to a black corvette with personalized plates Nagano 98. Whatayagonnado?

So it's not my fault that it was Halloween (making the story even less believable) when I threw something "TO" and I'll stress again "TO" Alice, he didn't see it and that is why it accidentally hit him in the nuts. He was not hurt for what it's worth and he was also wearing a cup that provided him the extra protection he didn't even know he would need that evening. I know he was wearing a cup because it was on the outside of his pants...and it was bright orange/red.

No matter...he was pissed! He tried to brain me with the 3/4 length cane he was holding but I was just out of reach. Haha Mr. Cooper. :)

My reason for mentioning these things is that I think I'm going to retire these two stories. Even as I've probably only told the Alice story 6 times and the Tara story twice They really fall under the category of you had to be there plus I don't think anybody believes they happened so why waste the breath? So I think this blog is going to be the retirement home for stories I don't want to tell anymore. A story is like a secret...the mischief is in the telling so this way I can get the story out of my head and into the great information stream. If I ever need it I suppose it should be here but I've go to do some spring cleaning of my noggin. I had a trippy experience last week when I was working out and a flood of convoluted memory information tried to present itself from the old storage file cabinets to the inbox and there was a transfer glitch. :(

I've got an uneasy feeling about what's whirling around in my head trying to get out but I'm sure that Alice Coopers package and Tara Lipinski's panties have nothing whatsoever to do with it...... My brain is probably stalling. In fact I know it's stalling. Makes me nervous that something wicked this way comes.

With any luck it will just pass, fingers crossed.